Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Things You Know

As a mom, you know your kids will get hurt. Inevitably something is going to happen to them that will cause some sort of physical harm to them. However, simply knowing this fact doesn't make it any easier when something actually happens.

Isabella had her first big fall today, causing a HUGE bump just above her eye. It happened while under my mom's care but I don't blame my mom. Isabella is 15 months old, bumps and bruises come with the toddler territory. Frankly, it sucks and I can't quite explain how it makes me feel to see her facial features being altered by a puffy eye (sad doesn't quite cut it, more like freaked out, I'm still freaked out. She's acting normal but I still feel helpless like I don't know what to do for her and I'm her mom and there's this huge bump over her eye so I should do SOMETHING, right? Right?! But, what?! WHAT?!) but truth be told we're lucky that it didn't happen sooner! So to blame my mom seems nonsensical to me.

Speaking of blaming my mom (or rather not blaming in this case) now that this has happened to Isabella while under my mom's care I can honestly say that I can't relate or understand my brother or sister-in-law. I'm only further puzzled by their reaction to my mother accidentally pulling out an IV, at the time attached to my nephew's foot, while carrying him when he was hospitalized with a severe UTI. Did Shawn cry? Yes. Did it hurt? Of course! Did she MEAN it? Definitely not. I knew that then, just as surely as I know now that she genuinely means it when (describing Isabella's accident today) she says "creo que yo llore mas que ella!"

The great IV Catastrophe seems to be the root of all of the current inter-family awkwardness that exists between my brother and his in-laws and us, his one-time close-knit immediate family. My brother doesn't bring my nephew over to my mom's house. She always has to go over to their place to see him. Mind you, the IV incident happened when my nephew was months old, he's now 14 months old. Thankfully he recovered from the UTI and wasn't left with any lasting emotional or mental trauma from my mom yanking out that IV, I'm almost 100% positive of this. Even so, I feel like my brother and sister-in-law hold a grudge against my mom for the whole thing. As a result contact between "us" (my parents, sister and I) and "them" (my brother, sister-in-law and nephew) dwindled down into non-existence. The lack of contact caused yet another problem in the form of my family (sometimes overtly) favoring Isabella. My sister makes no apologies and (maybe it's because I'm Isabella's mother) I agree with her point that their favoritism was bound to happen because they NEVER see Shawn. As I stated previously, my brother does not bring him to see my mom. They've never been to my sister's apartment and they only made a fleeting appearance at Isabella's first birthday party.

I don't think my mom meant to pull out that IV. I know Isabella's accident today was in no way her fault. I know my brother is a big dummy who will live to regret cutting us off from his life. I just don't think HE knows...
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Miosoti said...

aw the picture made me cringe AGAIN! poor baby!
I definitely know that your mom was more hurt than Isabella and that she did not pull the IV on purpose... why in the world would she?!
anywho, unfortunately things like this (separation) happen all the time within families of all kinds and there is pretty much nothing that can be done but wait for the big slap in the face!(with reality that is). *shruggs shoulders*

"Smarty Lu" said...

Just to be clear it's my brother getting slapped by reality, right? LOL...*sigh* I do miss him sometimes.