Saturday, October 13, 2007

25 µm=a big deal

so i've made an arrangement with my boy JAY, that if i don't have a baby by age 30, i can have his sperm.
we won't be together but he'll play an active role in the kid's life. so it's all good.
my sister's biological clock is ticking, and it's a clock about the size of big ben. that pendulum is knocking her down right about now. it's a sad state to be in. and i wish i could do something to help, but in all honesty...i really can't. i don't think she's infertile. she tends to jump to the worst possible scenario, so she thinks she is. i think she'll be alright, all that's needed is a little patience...

and some sperm.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

i'm the motherflippin'

so i've been up to a whole lotta nothing lately. as usual but i thought i'd update you all anyway! so here we go:
a while i thought i was being moved to a different desk in my office--well that never came to fruition...til now. luckily i'm not all the way in the back stuffed behind some filing cabinets and sandwiched between the restrooms. i'm only 3 desks behind my previous cubicle...(i heard someone say CUBICULO the other day, is that a word? because if so i love it and will start to use it on a regular basis) not as bad as it could've been but the sole purpose of moving me was because the receptionist and i talk too much, and so now we can't. mission accomplished. fuckers. they're so hypocritical (i saw hypercritical written in someone's blog recently and i got to thinking of what that would mean etymologically...then i got to wondering if it's an actual word...then i stopped wondering looked it up saw that it was a word and etymologically meant exactly what i thought it'd mean... fault-finding, finicky etc. where hypocritical obviously means dupilicitous, two-faced, phony. i think the person meant hypocritical. then i stopped thinking about the person's blog and started listening to Feist). anyway seriously everyone in that damn office is so chatty and it interferes with their work, but the receptionist and i, we keep up with our work!!! wackness...they only separated us because we're young and pretty...
E is in his motherland right now...and i'm wondering what he's up to. i was supposed to call him but i have severe phone phobia. i only have a cell to txt. i can't bring myself to purchase a calling card and dial 011...*shudder* i'd have to ask for him in SPANISH! and my spanish isn't formal enough i know i'd come off really rude...i just don't wanna put myself through that. nuh-uh. no thanks.
and i'm at work right now. back at the LIBRARY, yes indeed...being here is comparable to being in tartaros, i'm sure of it...worst of all their pay periods are all out of whack so even though i've been working since 9/1 i won't get my first check til 10/11. oh joy. the most interesting thing that has happened all day is that the cleaning lady found a Harry Potter book in the toilet in the men's room. Like literally in the BOWL, poor's the first book too. how could someone chuck him in the loo so early on? you haven't even gotten to know him yet!!! but on a serious tip...that's mad senseless, what's the use in ruining a book like that? morons.
on another note... i'm in so much love with Flight of the Conchords right about now...(and i'd like to give a shout out to RA for that!)
so i'll end this blog how i began it with a touch of new zealand genius...
I'm the mother flippin' Rhymenocerous
My beats are fly and the birds are on my back
And I'm hornyI'm horny
If you choose to proceed you will indeed concede
Cos I hit you with my flow
The Wild Rhino Stampede.
I'm not just wild, I'm trained,Domesticated
I was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated
And subsequently procreated
That's how it goes
Here's the Hiphopopotamus
The hip hop hippo
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
My lyrics are bottomless

They call me the Hiphopopotamus
Flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin' off the top of this esophagus
Rockin' this metropolis
I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal
Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that, perchance?
My rhymes and records they don't get played
Because my records and rhymes they don't get made
And if you rap like me you don't get paid
And if you roll like me you don't get laid.
My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the area pregnant
Yes, sometimes my lyrics are sexist
But you lovely bitches and hoes should know I'm trying to correct this.
Other rappers dis me
Say my rhymes are sissy.
Why? Why? Why?What?
Why exactly?What? Why?
Be more constructive with your feedback, please.
Why?Why?Why, because I rap about reality?
Like me and my grandma drinking a cup of tea?
There ain't no party like my nanna's tea party.
Hey! Ho!
I'm the motherflippin'
I'm the motherflippin'
I'm the motherflippin'
Who's the motherflippin?
I'm the motherflippin'
I'm the motherflippin'
I'm the motherflippin'